Saturday, August 28, 2004
arghh.. ive never felt so irritated before.. i cant stand the fact that i have to face the reality that he likes another girl.. maybe im still in love with him. maybe im not.. but if i aint got feelings for him.. why in the world do i feel the way i do right now? arghghhh.. i dont know. it just sucks having to feel the way i do right now.... he treats me like a friend and regards me as a good friend.. but seriously.. does he genuinely regard me as a good friend.. or is it just merely a title given to me to make me feel "desired" i dont even know whats the word for it.. whatever.. i know we have broken up and he can jolly well be dating someone else.. but can he be more sensitive.. ?? argh.. i dont know.. why do i even bother.. sometimes i ask myself.. is he worthy of my attention.. should i even regard him as my friend.. i mean.. he definitely doesnt need me.. he's coping well without me.. and he has a whole pool of good friends and is eager to make new friends. well, given his charisma and charm.. im sure he'll be able to accomplish that with no problem.. he is a nice guy and all.. but i dont know.. the bad memories are overwhelming the good ones... so should i even treat him like a friend? or should i just completely think he wasnt part of my life before.. for now.. i would choose the latter.. well, with the pool of friends he's got.. he doesnt need me.. and i shouldnt be obstructing his way right? hah! in time.. he wouldnt know that i exist.. he's probably starting to feel that way already.. who cares.. i am that insignificant.. and yeah... his likfe would probably be better without me.. be independent.. be strong.. and work my way up is my new resolution.. friends (old and new) are definitely worth the attention.. they have always been there for me when i needed them most..
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
~natalie seah~
mcs-->stc-->acjc-->ntu
business major
loves her family and friends
shopping and diet fanatic
motto:
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you will get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You will see the sun come shining through for you
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