sUnsHiNe sMiLez ~natalie~

Thursday, September 14, 2006

missing AC...

just came back from AC.. after interviewing or rather having a chit chat session with my grand junior class. man.. they are one great bunch of people. and seeing them so cheerful and carefree brings back many memories..

seeing my grand juniors.. has rejuvenated me in many ways in a short period of time. the spirit and drive i saw in them were the same as mine when i was in AC and this spirit was in me when i left AC. and it has helped me to achieve beyond what i thought i could achieve. over [maybe] the course of the past 6 months.. this spirit has died down.. this drive slowly pushed from a gear 5 engine to a gear 3. many things have happened. and yes i am extremely tired.

i was super excited and nervous to see my grand juniors.. nervous was maybe.. due to the fact that i have been distancing myself from the ac community for such a long time.. distancing to avoid sth that hurt me so bad in the past. and i guess in a way i was afraid that i would not be able to clique with my juniors.. maybe not be myself.. or maybe.. was afraid to know the fact that maybe the natalie in AC may not be the same natalie as you see now.

why was i excited..? well.. though i have distanced myself away from ac for so long.. i dearly miss it. deep down inside.. i wished i had been more involved and to stay i touch with the school community. i miss the friends.. the culture.. the spirit.

walking into the gates of school.. i felt a gush of nostalgia. i remember how it was like to walk about feeling proud of the uniform i wore. to look forward to a new day in school with friends close to my heart that never failed to put a smile on my face.

walking into the classroom with my juniors noisy rattlings.. it brought back even more memories. i remembered joses and jianwei's funny comments and laughter that would fill the classroom. i remembered how the classroom would be usually filled with sweet smelling deodorant smell from the girls.. and yes.. mr. lynn's presence. wat would aa1 be without mr. lynn.

i walked in.. and actually treated them as if they were my classmates. and the surprising thing was my juniors were open and friendly about it. it just felt as if we immediately connected. and it felt as if they had known me before and that we have known each other for a really long time. their spontaneous response was encouraging and motivating. something i miss ALOT.. throughout my interview with them.. there was no sense of discomfort. no nervousness involved at all. it was as if it was a casual chit chat session getting their response to certain issues.

this visit to AC has energized me and restored me in a way. now i see where my passion to achieve and the drive to go beyond what is expected of me comes from. it is the culture that i have went through in AC. everything was team effort. we were confident and open to new friends. we were all driven to achieve. passionate about what we committed ourselves to do. and indeed 'our hearts, our hopes, our aims are [indeed] one'. this is the AC culture.

i am definitely feeling better and more motivated as well. remembering all these has helped me think back and see the person i was before. the happy and ambitious natalie. who was care-free and driven at the same time. i am charged and yes definitely feeling much better.

The Best is Yet to Be.

sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~