Sunday, April 30, 2006
haha... had fun man.. =) went SHOPPING!!! hehe.. bought myself a white skirt.. whahah.. was looking at shorts half the time.. and obviously chris and ade were like attempting to deviate my attention away from shorts.. whaha.. met ed later that day.. haha.. good to meet you man.. =) and can't wait for fridae!! whaha.. ade please inform me what to cook k? more photo taking.. ;)
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
Friday, April 28, 2006
the show was okie.. expected it to be better though. but then the songs and the humor was good man! hahah.. and the male lead was soooooooooooooooooooo good.. check him out man.. josh young.. whaha.. damn good.. =)
oh!! yes.. hahah.. went to the gym for the first time in ages.. =) haha.. man.. fitness level is at its lowest right now.. gotta buck up man.. just started on my diet programme.. hehe.. hopefulle can lose alot of weight man.. hehe.. =)
and yes ali.. when will we be meeting?? hahha.. =)
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
Thursday, April 27, 2006
have you ever wondered if you can fully forget someone?? that someone can be a friend. a best friend. or a past lover. or maybe a close relative.
everyone has their own good times and bad. for the good times, we will tend to feel nostalgic. for the bad, we tend to resort to feeling seeming kind of hatred, anger, fear and many people will tend to avoid.
yes.. physical distance is one thing. but what about the emotional and mental distance? can one fully say to another person that he or she does not have a lingering feeling for that person. could be a close relative that passed away. could be a friend that has moved overseas. or more commonly a break up. what about.. do you still feel alot for that particular thing that is missing in your life? if one were to be engaged with that sth again.. like be in touch. can you safely say that nothing will develop. things happen. nothing is impossible.
well, personally, i have learnt to become so numb about such things. like, life is too short to make yourself feel so miserable. and yes. everything is temporary. make the best out of it and treasure everything you have around you. never take them for granted. that's the reason why i act the way i do sometimes.. people may say that i am heartless. or insensitive. but i wouldn't say i don't feel for the matter. but rather. numb. whether or not this feeling develops. i am still numb. skeptical. cynical. basically, prepared for the worst. haha. and yes. it is human nature to protect oneself first before anything else. and to a certain extent. i believe that that is very impt in today's society. protect your own feelings and well being. because, if you are not happy, life is definitely meaningless. it will be filled with worry, fear. which are considered as sins.
i really don't know why i am writing whatever i am writing. but this is sth that i have been thinking about of late. *wonders* haha.. think this is really keeping me occupied man. like drowning myself in such thoughts. ahhh.. okie. think i shall just end it here.
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
oh well.. zinc!!! hurry up finish your exams!!! haha.. then we can go exercise and accomplish our goal!! whaha.. eh eh eh!! can also help ya plan your 21st bdae party!! let me know if ya wanna move the fridge over k?
yup.. watching west side story with chris tmr.. haha.. =) can't decide what to wear.. bleahz.. =)
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Do do do do do do do-do
Ohh Yeah
Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
Cuz right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cuz you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore
(it's ridiculous)
It's been months
And for some reason I just
(can't get over us)
And I'm stronger then this
(enough is enough)
No more walkin round
With my head down
I'm so over being blue
Cryin over you
And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
Gotta fix that calender I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be
That's the reason I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs)
Dont make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
Let it go
Turning off the radio
Cuz I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)
Said I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)
And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishin you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
Why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)
Why can't I turn off the radio?
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
made colin pissed over some comment i made... but i hope it aint the comment i am thinking about.. cause i was talking to someone else when i was on the line with you. hope that you'll cheer up.. push on for the rest of ur papers k.. fight hard.. sorrie if i made ya pissed.
well well.. so many things happened... hmm.. lets see... my roomie has moved out.. =( so sad.. thinking about the times i didnt spend with her.. and the times i could have spent with her.. and the times that she was there to counsel me.. or having casual girl talks we used to have is making me feel really nostalgic.. starting to miss her presence in this room. she would always be cheering me up with her melodious singing.. haha.. her casual whining about school.. waking me up every single morning for my classes.. whaha.. (shit.. nobody to wake me up already!!) educating me about the up to date chinese songs.. hey.. some songs are damn nice la! haha.. miss ya pei jie.. =) please keep in touch k...
with her moving out, it has made me realise how fast time flies. it was just a year ago.. when we went for hall foc camp.. haha.. coming back dirty and smelly.. we would always laugh and whine about the silly fun things we did in the day.. haha.. the cute guys.. whaha.. oh dear.. and list goes on.. also.. the exam periods.. looking at her study never fails to make me feel guilty man.. haha. we would always wake each other up from our naps.. making sure that we study.. haha.. counselling each other after every single crappy paper.. haha.. asking for advice.. blah blah.. =) man.. and guess what.. a year just flew past.. haiz.. honestly.. i feel that i took for granted that she will always be my roomie.. haha.. like how she would always be there waiting to talk to me in the room.. but now.. she is no longer here.. aiyoh.. i sound really emotional.. but seriously feeling damn sad.. haha.. nv thought that i would feel this way..
speaking about how time flies.. i read my friend's blog.. and something unfortunate happened to her.. haiz.. teared when i read what happened.. i really didnt know what to say.. went totally blank.. and it made me realise how temporal life is.. that one can just leave the world at any point in time.. like a calling or some sort.. haiz.. like how i have so many dear friends so close to my heart.. that i have neglected after coming to NTU.. people like chris.. the baba girls.. charmaine.. mervyn kor kor.. big bro andrew... the people who never failed to knock sense into me.. hehe.. if you realise .. have been blogging alot about friends of late.. i really feel that it is super duper impt.. and i really feel guilty for not spending time with them... haiz.. but you guys still never fail to remember to keep in touch with me.. and i thank you all for your patience.. =)
but i guess.. after much reflection.. really treasure the people around you.. your friends.. ur family.. your enemies.. aiyoh.. all sorts lah.. your homework.. hahha.. =) okie crappy.. but really.. relationships are realy impt..
oh well. think i have said much already.. this is a photo of me and pj!! haha.. me roomie and her parents.. my dearest jiao lians.. =)
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
Sunday, April 23, 2006
oh yeah.. my last paper is IT.. so you can imagine how dry and uninteresting is it for an IT-unsavvy person like myself. haha. =) but as i mentioned before.. it is ironically my best subject for this sem... bleah.. okie.. i have to get down to studying man..
oh oh oh!!! i have to share with you guys.. when i went out with colin after my biz law paper on fridae, we went to check out this pet shop.. and guess what.. the shop was selling 2 pups shetland crossed with jap spitz.. really pretty.. wat an opportunity to get them both.. so so cheap.. $1200 for 2.. ahh.. hahah.. apparently it's this cheap because they are cross breeds. haha.. but one of them reminds me so much of khimji..the colour of his fur.. bah.. im going to check out the pups again with my mummy!! hehe.. hopefully she will buy them man.. miss khimji so so much.. and more so.. miss a goood companion at home as well.. haha.. with 2 pups.. can you imagine how vibrant the house will be! =) look a photo... hehe.. this is one not the khimji look-alike.. haha.. didn't take a pic with it..
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
Saturday, April 22, 2006
the past...
hmm.. many good and bad things happen in the past..
but we always tend to be more focused on the bad rather than the good.. maybe it is inherent in every human being to have such a mindset.. to always think about the negative instead of the positive.. why is this so? some may say.. its due to the fear of being hurt again.. the fact that we haven't gotten over someone that was so significant in our lives.. or maybe.. it could be a genetic inclination inherent in the different genders.. as to how they handle the problem..
why am i talking about this?
well.. okie.. i have been reading a person's blog throughout last night.. due to my frustration about sth the individual commented.. i shan't say who that is.. but the more i read the person's blog.. the more i realise that maybe the person hasn't really gotten over his/her past. the lingering memories still haunts the person. why is that so? well.. as much as i would like to call it escapism.. but i highly doubt it.. the feelin i am getting is.. his/her feelings are still strong for the memory.. and what this person did to hurt another individual was a reckless and impulsive decision. and now the person is sorry about it.
well. okie. granted. come on.. i have offended many individuals in my life. and hell yeah i feel bad about talking bad.. or gossiping about the person. so obviously.. this person is probably facing the same thing. the fact that this person keeps reflecting about a particular incident that has haunted him/her throughout this period.. says something.
hmm.. maybe i am thinking too much.. but maybe i am just conforming to the common mental model of thinking of the worst possible outcome.. to prepare myself mentally.. of the fear of sth that happened to me in the past as well..
but the good things are keeping me mentally strong.. such as my boundless circle of friendship that has kept me mentally strong through their endless support.. to those people aka chris, andy, zinc, laona.. i salute you. thank you for always being there.. to support.. to cheer me up.. to help me think straight. also.. vin sun ali for always utting a smile on my face.. and keeping the happy go lucky hui intact.. baba sisters rock! =) thanks colin.. for the care and support throughout this exams. when i broke down u were there sacrificing ur revision time. thank you.
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
was talking to vin just now. haha.. and she commented that she wanted a tag board.. haha...whilst finding the tag board kinda reforamtted the whole layout. haha.. cool!! first time doing it.. hehe..
anyway.. biz law paper over.. 4 down.. one more to go..
vin sun christabel!! all the best k? you guys can definitely do it.. hehe =)
to all the engine people that are still struggling in the midst of their exams.. half way through already.. push on!! don't lose the momentum..
to all the CS people! haha.. enjoy yourselves haha..
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
Thursday, April 20, 2006
here's a pic of the shoe! haha.. damn cool lah! haha.. papillio! ;)
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
but i must thank colin.. for guiding me and helping me through these stressed out moments of my life... u sacrificed your revision time just to make sure i was okie with the module.. and all.. thanks man...
thanks to ed and chris for your prayers and well wishes.. =) hahha.. and your constant reminders to advise me to sleep.. haha.. =)
well well!! after hearing the bad news.. let's share some good news with ya. hhaha.. you know! at the beginning of this semester.. i was rather skeptical about my IT module.. thinking that i won't do well.. haha.. but on the contrary it is by far ( besides my marketing module) my best module for this sem.. haha!! just got back my project marks and all.. haha.. my 50% course averaged to 80.45%! i mean like.. that IS good news.. haha..
well well... after much self reflection.. i guess maybe banking and finance isn't a course for me.. like yeah.. that's where all the money is coming from.. but if ya lack the interest and passion for it.. really your life would be miserable.. have come to a conclusion... i'm leaving it to faith.. maybe things will turn out better than expected.. like i'd do better in a different specialization hmmmm.. never thought myself to be a calculation person.. more of a crappy person.. hahha.. marketing is definitely a consideration.. haha.. IT?? haha.. maybe that is another.. but whatever it is.. 'what will be, will be'
zinc!!! happy birthday!! hope ya kicked ass for your paper todae.. haha..
and to my favourite brother.. MERVYN!! haha... it has been a long while since you've called.. nice to hear from you again.. and to have my brother checking on me.. haha.. please tell andrew for me that i have not forgotten about him.. haha.. will catch up with the both of you really soon k!
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
Sunday, April 16, 2006
ahhh!.. so many things to do after the exams....
-go shopping with colin.. ade.. zinc.. chris..
-exercise exercise......
-hang out with many many people!
-evening with friends, anyone?
-spend time with my family.....
-get a new puppy?? hahha
rubbishy thoughts....
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
well okie i admit.. i aint prepared for econs at all... haiz. but before the exams started.. i was damn optimistic and thought i could do it..
but now.. haha.. i dont know whether its due to stress.. i feel like giving up.. haiz.. cause i dont wanna waste a good grade.. but then again.. after talking to chris and colin.. they made me look more towards the positive side.. so i aint going to disappoint you guys.. i AM going to push on.. bleahz....
okie.. just before i forget!!
zinc!! wanna wish ya a happy advanced birthdae! =) even though its during the exams.. promise you we will go ou and have some girly fun after the exams k! =)
to jasmine and chris!! just wanna wish ya all the best for the upcoming driving test on wed.. hahha.. =) you guys can do it k!
to ade alex colin andy...... and all those taking your exams! push on! persevere! haha.. we can do it!
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
Monday, April 10, 2006
to all those people burning mid night oil!! keep the engine rolling k.. we WILL kick ass!
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
This song never fails to cheer me up whenever i am down or when circumstances seem so overwhelming.. now.. as i study for my exams.. so many other factors are bothering me.. my uncle's condition.. a recent friend's dispute... mum's sad and demotivated expressions...
but through all these seemingly negative circumstances.. i still believe that everything will turn out for the better.. everything happens for a reason.. sometimes take it as if its a test... a test of your perseverance.. your faith in something more than life.. and moreover.. the believe in yourself that you can handle and pull through and become a better and stronger person..
to those studying for your exams.. i pray for you to hold yourself together and push yourself beyond your limits and kick some examiner's ass... haha..
to all those that are having any problems in life.. remember that problems are meant to make u a stronger person.. there are not there to put you down.. seek help and motivation from your family and friends.. for that's the gift that has been bestowed to each and everyone of us.. treasure them..
haha.. as for an update.. i am pretty happy with myself.. almost done with my revision for ONE subject.. hahah.. have like ermmmm... let's seee.... one major one that i have left untouched.. and 3 other modules that i think i can manage.. hahaha.. the nightmare week has just begun... haha.. pray hard for me!!! heheh.. ;)
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
Saturday, April 08, 2006
have been in a mad rush trying to keep up with my syllabus.. my exam is on thursday.. and i havent finished studying! and the following week.. is terrorizing me already.. haha.. 3 papers in a week.. malay econs and biz law.. arghh... but as many have said.. one step at a time.. haha.. sacrifice all the sleep now and hibernate later.. haha..
oh well.. wish me all the luck as i struggle my way through this semester's exams..
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
carelessness... haiz.. one thing that i have done ever since i came into NTU.. i carelessly neglected the friends that were closest to me from Pri.. Sec.. JC... just recently caught up with a few friends.. and of course.. besties that i have always been in contact with like charmaine.. alicia.. vinitha.. haha.. when u think bad about the times we shared.. the blood sweat and tears that we have shared.. those were the most enjoyable times.. still remember how we would gossip non stop about the teachers in school.. or even hang out with them..
not saying that i dont have good friends in NTU.. ntu has enlightened me by making me see things from a different point of view.. like how everything is not as glamorous as it seems.. haha..
come on.. i have to admit.. the feeling of being in AC.. the prestige.. i mean.. i was proud to be an ACSian.. and will continue to be proud.. the school spirit there is one that i will never forget.. everyone was united.. all proud to follow the famous motto " The Best is Yet to Be".. which is always true.. and it never fails to motivate me whenever i am down.. still remember the pain the council had to go through.. haha.. we were the smallest council.. and we did a FANTASTIC job.. still remember the greatest senior on earth.. the senior that never left ac.. ALEX LEE.. haha.. always putting a smile on everyone's face.. helping people out.. but.. that is one that i carelessly neglected too.. i guess.. to those that are closer to me.. i did that to avoid.. too afraid to face individuals about terrible things that happened in the past.. but i guess.. i have learnt to let go of that fear.. or stigma.. =) which is great! haha.. and i recently heard that alex and colin have given up trying to contact me.. haha.. eh! please don't "draw the lin".. extremely busy.. haha.. will make up for it during the hols k.. got a 3 months break.. along the way in AC.. i have gotten closer to a few other individuals.. like edward.. the people of 2aa1.. ade.. CHRIS!! haha.. esp christable christine vin sun alicia..
of course.. i will not forget the school spirit in stc.. =) miss those times.. where we fought hard and played hard together as a team.. that was reall sth.. hahha.. people like clara.. charmaine.. you guys are the best.. =) always been there for me even till this day.. haha.. but clara! do sth to meet up!!! haha.. miss ya like crazy girl.. =) still remember people like leslie.. man.. haha.. he was really sth.. never fails to remind me of "coach carter" haha.. besides the passion for the game.. one must still persevere to get good grades.. haha.. still remember how he thought me to study.. and guess what! haha.. he is going to be a daddy!! haha.. and who can forget.. all the st pats and sji era.. hahaha.. and acsi.. hahha.. man.. how we used to fight to get to go for games day.. or june camp.. hahha.. those were fun man.. and come to think of it its pretty silly.. haha.. but met people like justin.. people like mervyn!! andrew!!! (my brothers for life!!) hehe.. jie hua.. raph.. jw.. man.. u guys are great.. haha.. jie hua for always inviting me for outings.. hahha.. man.. i feel terrible lah!! keep rejecting u becos of sch work.. haha.. doink.. okie.. holidays go play tennis with u k! haha..
i guess. that's why i feel so empty at times.. i miss all these times.. my friends.. the people who shared so many good times and bad .. man..
ntu has been great as well! with people like karkiat and jeff who are my permanent proj group mates for the past 2 semesters.. lets pray we get into the same stream k.. then can be partners again.. haha... 'laona' and zinc.. who has never failed to be there.. zinc is the sweetest thingy on earth.. laona u are one lucky guy to have her.. treasure her and be good to her.. or else.. whahhaa.. kevin weiming.. haha. my good brothers from garnet .. prom nominees in hall.. haha.. wah honoured man.. haha.. got 2 suai ge ge.. haha.. and who can forget ... ANDY!!! haha.. he is one individual that never fails to listen to all my crap.. whining about jcrc work.. talking some sense into me.. the shoulder to cry on.. haha.. u are great man.. dont flirt too much! concentrate on ur studies!! whahha.. ;) just kidding.. hehe.. and also to colin.. always helping me out in driving my biz mag stuff.. for being my listening ear.. whaha.. nagging!! ahaha.
aiyoh.. ive written so much... but my point is.. u guys mean alot to me.. everyone of you.. and if i have neglected you in one way or another.. i really apologize.. i just want everyone of you.. that i still remember you guys.. haha.. dont give up trying to contact me k!! off and on please ask me out also! haha.. okie.. gonna continue to study.. =) feel much better wrting this out.. =)
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~
Sunday, April 02, 2006
guess what?? good news! there is hope for him.. =) am so happy when i heard the news! just that he has to go through a risky operation.. but what the hack.. it is good news! at least there is another route he can take! my family's prayers were answered! man... really really really good feeling.......
been trying to study.. and managed to complete a few chapters.. man.. studying is tough.. and it is even tougher when i have all the people closest to me on earth (that i rarely get to meet up with) in my house.. haha.. having a great time talking to them... orientating myself to diff career prospects.. blah blah..
its been a long long time since my mum had a family reunion.. u can see her happiness and joy ,through her smile and eyes, seeing all her brothers together and catching up.. seeing so much team spirit in taking turns to look after my uncle.. man.. family is super important guys.. they are the people who will stick with you through thick and thin..
my uncles are heading back on friday.. so sad.. must treasure everytime i have now with them.. =)
study hard!!!
sUnsHiNe sMileZ ~nat~